Empty Nest Update: Making good decisions.. is hard sometimes..

I really thought that I would miss my girl terribly while she is off at school. Rather than seeing her everyday, we now are seeing her once a month or so. It isn't too bad. Its not great, but it is manageable.

One of the main reasons I can say that is that she seems to be settling in and continuing to make good decisions. She and her room mate get along, and she is definitely spreading her wings in her new environment.

We raised her to be respectful and to make good decisions. She has learned these lessons well and seems to know right from wrong. The knowledge that she is mature and capable of making the right decisions, even if they are hard, puts my mind at ease.

With my mind at ease regarding her behavior and habits, I can go about my daily routine and not have to worry about what she is doing. I know she is doing whats right for her, and that it will not cause a lot of angst for her mother and I.

I look back to myself at the age. I was already in the Air Force. I was on my own, and I wasn't necessarily always making the correct or wise decisions. I seem to remember getting a half keg with Mark Brumbaugh and about four of us drinking the whole thing. Definitely not mature decision making. Which I think is why I was a little worried. I had my own misbehavior to look back on and luckily she landed away from the old apple tree and then rolled a little further.

So the excitement and joy of this new chapter in her life as well as ours continues, and it seems to be going well.

Taking our baby to college.

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I think the next few days will be slightly rough for my wife and me. We get to participate in the act of our daughter growing up and leaving the nest. She is headed off to college, and as an only child, this will leave a large hole in the fabric of the nest. We get the pleasure of loading all her earthly belongings up, driving for hours, and then trying to squeeze it all into a dorm room.

Everyone keeps telling me that once we become comfortable with the change we will thoroughly enjoy our empty nest. Though this may be true, I really do not see that occurring anytime soon. Not only will our daughter not be there to interact with us on a daily basis, but neither will her friends.

This will be a big change as well, since the kids have been part of our life for the past 10 years. I wish them all the best, and I am rooting for them to do great in school and in life, I just know we will miss them.

We have been extremely fortunate to have a daughter that has always been a pleasure to be around. Her intelligence and maturity has meant that no matter where we go or what we’re doing she fits perfectly into most all situations.

Based on this maturity she has always made some good decisions and been trusting enough of us that decisions she is not comfortable with, she discusses with either my wife or I. Although she will now be “on her own”, I truly hope that this personality trait continues. She will use this emotional intelligence to hopefully make many new friends that will last her a lifetime, while not forgetting the friends the she has now that have helped make her whom she is.

The range of emotions this activity is producing is incredibly wide. We are sad that our baby is going out on her own. Meanwhile, I can only imagine the incredible excitement, and curiosity that my daughter feels about getting to make a run at being “independent”.  She will be facing her own adjustments that while she doesn’t know it will be as big as or bigger than ours. I wish her luck, and want her to know that we are always here for her or any of her friends.

As all of these young adults head out into the world to make their mark, let’s say a prayer for them and their parents as everyone adjusts to this part of the circle of life. There will be success and failure, but that is life and that is what they are about to learn. Hopefully we have prepared all of them to be successful in their coming endeavors

My baby came home this weekend...

Its a wonderful thing when you get to see your child for the first time after they've been gone a couple of weeks.

"Separation makes the heart grow fonder!"

I don't think that is always a true statement. I was extremely fond of her prior to her leaving. I think I love her just as much as prior to that fateful day that we dropped her at Mississippi State University.
I think that this is a result of being extremely lucky on our part to have a child who always seemed mature beyond her years. Those of you that know her realize that this is not a brag. It is a plain statement of fact.

She has been gone, and I think she misses us as much as we miss her. We have always been a close and supportive family, so to be separated has caused some anxiety for all of us. Nothing that can't be cured with time and regular visits on both parties parts. But we don't love her more because she has been gone.

Maybe I am taking that old statement a little to literal, but it was weighing on my mind so I figured I would put my thoughts onto the proverbial paper. With all of the emotions that I have, fonder is not one of them.

I love that she is growing wings and flying. I love that she will get her feet under her and she will be running at life full tilt. I love that she cares for her parents so deeply. I love that we love her back just as deeply. This is the way life is supposed to be! A little sad, but a ton of joy to offset the changes that are occurring.

If your child has yet to leave the nest, cherish each moment. The moments you want to last a lifetime unfortunately don't, but you can cherish the young adult they have become.

So Alysse, go back to school and give it your all because we will always be here for you.

Hard work pays.....

Lately, with Alysse going to college there have been conversations regarding what all college is about. Is it worth it? How to approach it? How to get the most out of it?

I realize its a beautiful taste of freedom. It's the ability to do what you want when you want to. To interact with other students with different backgrounds and beliefs. To spread your wings and your world view.

That is what I have encouraged my daughter to do. Enjoy her new found freedom. Embrace all of the new experiences you get with college, the dorm life, the insanely large classes, the girls in your hall, and the friends from home that have spread out to all four corners of the world.

I hope she is having a great time, and that she is enjoying life to the fullest....

With that said, I have preached to her from a young age, make good decisions. So we will get to see how well my wife and I have done at raising a very independent, intelligent, mature young woman. To date she is passing with flying colors. So girl grab life by the horns and hang on.

The other side of the conversation has been, you are there for an education that will last you the rest of your life. This will be the pivotal item that will most likely shape your work life and earning power. Realize that by doing well you will have the ultimate power of continuing to be an independent young woman with choices and the ability to sustain yourself.

I'm not saying that a degree is required, you can learn a trade, or join the military, so many other paths to success. But all of those paths to success require one thing, HARD WORK. I have said this many times to my young lady, and Ash and I have exhibited this trait to her every single day for her entire life. Get up, pull your boots up and go to work. We have been examples to her of what hard work and perseverance can allow you to achieve.

We have asked her to address her studies as if they are her full time job. Work at studying so that your boss won't fire you. Work as hard as possible to get promoted. Work as hard as possible so that your boss recognizes you for your hard work. If you do these thing you will continue to be successful.

I have no doubt that my daughter will continue to be successful, as long as she remembers that you have to work hard to be successful.

Beginning to empty nest.

The young girl is now relocated to the college of her choice. The parents are back at home, settling into a new reality. The reality that the focus of our efforts for the past 18 years as moved on to the next stage of her life, and we are not overly involved in this new stage.

The questions that have been tossed around the house the last couple of days have included many what’s and why’s?

Why does the house feel empty? Why did the time pass so quickly? What are we going to do to pass our time? What are we going to do this weekend? Want to bet how much we will save on the water bill?

I think we have decided that we need some new hobbies. Photography, YouTube, automotive restoration, honey do’s and home repair. We really don’t know what, but we’re sure that we need to stay busy.

So the next few months will be interesting to say the least, hopefully we can settle into a rhythm of enjoyable hobbies and spending time together.